As your daughter I naturally would rather not be writing this. But I have no choice given your continued actions against the Church you and my mother raised me in, your constant grandstanding to get attention, and my concern for my young sibling and his brother you and your current wife are raising.
I made the mistake of once hoping you would someday turn into a decent person and father. One hears of stories in the news of unfit parents, parents who abuse their children or spouses, who desert their children. A parent must take responsibility for their children. If not, they have no right to be a parent. It saddens me to have to say this, but you were unfit to be a father. You belittled and harassed my brother and me both physically and emotionally, while abusing our mother. Our family members have suffered at your hands for the last 30+ years.
You would make fun of both my brother and me. Do you recall belittling us and calling me hurtful things like “chubby” and calling my brother “grub”? “Affection” and “warmth” to you was checking our nails and clothes, then berating us. This was the first thing you would do when you saw us. As you know, for 13 years as a young girl I thought you did not even like me, as the only comments you made were belittling.
Your recklessness also upset my brother and me and our mother because it showed you didn’t care. Specifically, your driving endangered us almost every single time you drove us anywhere. The most dangerous was on our trips to Big Bear for Christmas and on snowy, unclear, very windy mountain roads. You would drive like a maniac and try to race other cars, with no concern for the safety of your wife and two small children in the car. I bet you still drive that way. You have no concern for the safety of others, not even your own family.
As you know, for 13 years as a young girl I thought you did not even like me, as the only comments you made were belittling.
Remember when I was 8 years old I was hit by a car and suffered severe injuries? It could have been fatal. You were never there once during the time I spent in the hospital, writhing in pain, getting operations, suffering burn treatments, high on painkillers and almost dead. My own father never showed up to see me for the months and months I was recovering. Mom was there 24 hours a day for me, helping me cope by giving Scientology assists. Where was my father?
You did the exact same thing when my brother got potentially fatal cancer some years ago. Mom tried to see you to tell you that your son needed care. You refused to speak to her and selfishly didn’t care the entire time he was suffering through chemotherapy, physical stresses, operation after operation to remove the cancer, and finally cosmetic surgery.
Then you and a couple of your degraded friends tried to harass my brother at his place of work, months after he was recovered from the extensive cancer treatment. It was all phony, staged for some TV cameras to make it look like you cared about your son. Your idea of showing your care is to come with a video camera and some brute bully to try to force your way in to see your son who otherwise doesn’t exist in your mind. To those of us who know you, we know it was all an act. You show up for the first time in years after deserting us with not one single word? It was all for show. You even admitted to this.
I feel sorry for my youngest sibling and his brother. They will learn as my brother and I did that you only care for you. I would never think to put you on a "who to contact in case of emergency" form, as it could be the difference between life and death. You are too self-absorbed to care about others.
Based on the behavior I know of for 20+ years, I can only be sure you are still being lazy, leaving everything to your wife to handle and even worse, not caring for her or your children. After many years of refusing communication and responsibility for your marriage to my mom and your two children by her, you physically abused her right in front of me. You mutilated her arm, with keys in your hands, and ripped and ruined the skin and muscle in her forearm. You pulled her shoulder out of place to such an extent it needed surgery. Your reaction was to laugh about it.
Your anger and cruelty didn’t stop with my mother and us. In my presence your angry outbursts led to you spraining Uncle Andrew's finger. He also told me that you, his older brother, even tried to suffocate him as a child. Your wife and children will discover this insane rage may occur any time. The last time I saw you there was insanity in your eyes. I really felt like I was looking at someone I did not know and who was taken over by demons. People like you have to be watched, as you are irrational and do not control yourself and end up hurting people around you. Your current mental and physical state is scary.
The last time I saw you there was insanity in your eyes.
Your own mother her expressed upset to me that you would not ever make time for her over the years, even when an opportunity arose to spend time together. However, you did find time to go into her apartment, unannounced and without permission, to rifle through her belongings. Not only that, but you allowed a total stranger into her home. My grandmother told me how violated she felt by this and that you had even gone through her drawers. I won’t even repeat here the words she had for you, but I can tell you she felt you betrayed her to a level she never could have imagined and was ashamed that she raised you as a son. And she died knowing you were attacking all that she believed in. Not that you care. She adores my uncle and my aunt as they adore her.
We have an extremely close family, but you were too self-centered to be part of it. You could never experience the love and joy that family members normally have for each other. My uncle told me that once in a class at school his teacher asked him if he had any association with Mike Rinder. When he told the teacher you are brothers, he was kicked out of the class. That’s the stigma you carry around whether you realize it or not.
I feel especially sorry for your young children. I highly suspect that the older one is already experiencing abuse on a covert level and may not know it or may not be able to verbalize it to his mother. I would not be surprised if he is being mentally or physically affected daily already by you just as my brother and I were when we were little. But what do you expect from someone who at an early age "for fun" put firecrackers in kittens anuses and let them explode? Cruelty to animals as a child soon became cruelty to your family members.
Your wife and children will find out soon enough if they haven’t already that you are lazy. You do not have a real honest working job. There were several projects I know of when you worked at the same place I work that self-destructed due to your incompetence. I know you were found goofing off on the job and slacking off. I can’t name any actual work you are skilled at, can or will do. You have been parasitic before and I see you are following the same pattern.
Cruelty to animals as a child soon became cruelty to your family members.
Years ago I would never have thought this would happen. It is for this reason I am writing this letter. It’s sad because your children are no doubt good kids who don’t deserve what my brother and I endured. I hope that when he and his brother are old enough they look at you and recognize you for what you are, and that they finally flourish and prosper by their own free will. They will be better for it.